Saturday, March 18, 2006

Read this, if you dare...

The following is a letter of “Thank You’s” to people that remind me why I think society is crumbling.
(If you cannot distinguish sarcasm from reality, read no further)

To the Soldiers/Officers/Civilians of [Deleted so I don’t get in freaking trouble],

Thank you. Thank you for reminding why it is that I am planning to live on a deserted island and alone, like a hermit.

Specifically;

To the Inconsiderate Bastard(s) that continually spills coffee throughout day in the walkway that I am responsible for cleaning – Thank you. Thank you for reminding me that being an inconsiderate bastard is not a one time, single event thing, but a lifestyle and a daily battle to remember to be inconsiderate. Thank you for ignoring the multiple signs asking you, hell! I even used the word “Please”, to clean up after yourself, as wet coffee is easier to clean than dried coffee stains. Thank you.

To the folks that yesterday, while I was sweeping a large common area, walked through the dirt piles. Not around, not over, but through, ensuring that you tracked dirt through the areas that I had already swept. I am particularly thankful that you ensured that you crossed all lines of rank, making sure that it was Officer, NCO, and Lower Enlisted. That fact reminded me that being an inconsiderate bastard knows no boundries.

To the unidentified individual who, while I was in the process of cleaning a latrine, came in while I was getting trash bags for the trashcan, and took a large dump in the stool and “forgot” to flush. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me that, even though it is possible to train domesticate animals to flush after themselves, only a human being is inconsiderate enough to refuse to.

To the people who leave empty water boxes in a pile next to the full boxes, I thank you. Thank you for showing me that it can be ok for a person to lack the consideration to carry an empty box to a trashcan or to the dumpster. Thank you. I would like to add to this group, the people that will throw a paper towel next to a trashcan, but cannot be bothered to pick it up and put it into the can if they miss. Thank you.

To the people who continually walk through the area where I sleep, yelling to each other, slamming doors, playing loud music, and generally ensuring that a person cannot have a quiet moment, thank you. Without you, I might be able to get an uninterrupted 4-5 hours of sleep, and god knows that would be too much to ask for. I might even be in a good mood once in a freaking while.

To the re-enlistment office that is located right near to my work-space, thank you for ignoring my repeated requests for information, both emails and letters. Without your input and answering of simple questions, such as “Is it true that a bonus is being offered for my job”, I might have been convinced to re-enlist, even to stay at a unit that I dislike. Thank you, for without you ignoring me, you might have been able to keep a motivated and qualified Soldier.

To the person that stole my pen, the pen that I have always considered my “lucky” pen, after I left it on my desk, hoping that it would still be there when I came back to work, thank you. Thank you for reminding me of the Army’s unofficial motto – “Anything that ain’t bolted down, is mine.” Thank you for ensuring that I lock up anything I would like to keep in my possession for more than a few hours.

Thank you.

SGT USGP

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