Happy New Year

The new job; a poorly trained monkey can do the same thing. I guess that makes me a…never mind, let’s just say I’m overqualified, ok? Like the main character from “Office Space” – I actually do about an hour of work, and go out of my way to keep out of trouble for the rest of the day (actually, night). Know why I keep focusing on “Office Space”? Remember when I said this unit goes out of its way to make itself miserable? Here’s another example – I work in a cubicle, in a windowless room lit by flickering fluorescent lights, surrounded by sallow-skinned vampires (in the sense that they avoid the light as though it were painful to them), in the worst country on this planet. Who would have thought there would be a place in Iraq that could look up to Dilbert as a positive influence?

Ok, so I’ve got a real good case of the self-pities. I’ll pull myself out of it eventually, I know I will. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, find a happy place. Milla J., Milla J., OK, I think I’m better now. I guess I should go ahead and list the New Years resolutions I will try not to break for at least 24 hours. In no particular order, here they are:

1) I will not strangle anyone this year. Not to death, at least.

2) I will refrain from daydreaming about various ways to have the new boss killed. Or if I do, I will refrain from giggling uncontrollably.

3) I will try to keep an upbeat attitude about life in general. Aw, crap. Already broke that one.

4) I will try to drink less than 10 cups of coffee a day. Well, less than 15.

5) I will not run around the building screaming “Perimeter Check”, yelling “All Clear”, and returning to my desk. Apparently this causes one to get recommended for Mental exams. I should know better.

6) I will remember that I am not a member of a rag-tag band of rebels fighting the evil empire, I am not a member of a rag-tag band of refugees fleeing the “Cylons”, and I am not a good-ole boy, never meanin’ no harm. They never let me have any fun.

7) Bob - This one's for you - I will replace any food items I eat. I promise. No, really. Seriously. I swear. No kidding. LOL!

8) I will not tape this picture to any portion of my desk or cubicle. Well, I'll make sure I take it down when someone tells me to. (Thanks to R.K. Milholland)

9) And finally I will not make any promises I cannot keep. Whups, another one already broken. ;-)




Have a good year everyone!